The Ideal Birmingham Pub Crawl, or is it Beer Crawl?

Given the pubs that Birmingham has, what would be the best achievable pub crawl?

More specifically, since I prioritise beer over surroundings/decor/atmos etc, what would be the ideal beer crawl in Brum?

Here's an imagined (but rooted in reality) attempt.

Starting slightly north of the centre, I'm kicking off with a pint of Oakham Citra in the Bartons Arms.  This is a double whammy, as the pub is a beautifully restored Victorian gem, with lovely tiles; and... it's owned by Oakham, who are one of my favourite/the best breweries in the country.  Citra is a deliciously crisp, hoppy and piquantly fruity beer, with a tickle across the tongue. Lip-smackingly moreish.

Next, a short bus ride away from the Bartons is the Bull - a small, homely, genuine old pub in the Gun Quarter.  Here, I'd probably plump for an Acorn Barnsley Bitter, which seems to be consistently available.  The comforting genuineness of the bitter, would echo the surroundings nicely.

Next I'd swing up to the Jewellery Quarter, to tick off the Lord Clifden, Brown Lion, Rose Villa Tavern, the Drop Forge and Red Lion (in that order).  In those pubs I'd hope to be able to sample [halves obviously] of Bathams (in the Clifdo), Complete Muppetry or Jewellery Porter (in the Brown), Thornbridge Kipling (in the RVT), a Malvern Hills Black Pear (in the Forge), and finally a Purity Mad Goose (in the Red).  Why those beers?  Well, because they are, respectively: i) a pleasure to drink and should always be sampled when available, which it usually is at the Clifdo and Red Lion; ii) the best of Two Towers' current range; iii) Bitters 'n' Twisted pubs usually carry Thornbridge beers, and they are always good; iv) usually on offer around Brum, and a pleasant Golden ale; and v) the best of Purity's 3 ubiquitous Golden ales.

A detour would be required to get to the Black Eagle, and once there, I'd hope for a Brewdog Trashy Blonde.

Heading back to the centre, I'd hope for a pint of Moor Somerland Gold in the Shakespeare [Summer Row], then an Otley Thai-Bo at the Old Contemptibles.  2 x Nicholsons' pubs, with 2 x of the better breweries on their Spring ale roster.

On the homeward stretch, I'd swing by the Old Joint Stock and umm and arr about whether to have a Chiswick Bitter (toasty and tart), a Bengal Lancer (quite hoppy) or a London Porter (rich and roasty).  The Porter would probably win.

In the nearby Wellington, the rotating ales make it difficult to pin down a guaranteed choice, but Wye Valley HPA IS always on, so that would 'do' me.

In the Post Office Vaults there are lots of bottles that I KNOW will be in the fridge on any given day, and a good number of them would tempt me on EVERY given day.  On current form, I think I would have to plump for a De Molen Amerikaans, which has the best aroma EVER.  However, having chosen Amerikaans, I would obviously have to live with NOT having chosen Rodenbach Grand Cru or Lindemans Cuvee Rene Gueuze - but those are the kind of tough choices I make every day.

Before the final leg, I'd head to the Victoria and certainly sample a Thornbridge Jaipur if possible. 

Final 2 stops would be in Digbeth.  First up the Lamp Tavern, where I would hope to sample an Everards Tiger, which is not only a delicious Bitter, but also a small taste of home.  And then the Anchor, which has a retinue of ales which rotate at a similar speed to the Wellington: therefore I would cross my finger and hope to sample a Gargoyles Citra or a Steel City Vane Tempest.

After that I would be fit to drop.

But what conclusions can we draw from this imagined crawl?  Well, firstly that the sort of breweries guaranteed to be available on any given day, in our best pubs, are not really members of the burgeoning 'Craft Beer' scene.  My ideal Brum pub crawl would not allow me to sample Summer Wine, Magic Rock or Buxton.  But, on the positive side, it would allow me to sample some nice Golden ales.  Lots of Golden ales.  Mainly Golden ales in fact.  Golden ales seem to be doing rather well in Birmingham.

The other conclusion, is a rather more obvious one, and that is that Birmingham has lots of lovely drinking venues.  Rather more than you might imagine in fact.  And perhaps more than we realise - which is a sign of improvement is it not?   

In the style of Tony Hart, why not come up with you own imaginary pub crawl, using this ever improving Birmingham Pub Guide via Google Maps?

Saturday's stolen 'crawl' and a craft beer checklist

Well it was stolen, but not a crawl.  I left work yesterday, pinched borrowed 5 bob off leather-clad chum Malcy, legged it straight to the Welly and necked two halves in ten minutes, as follows:

Black Iris Bitter - a proper old-skool, 'real man' type Bitter, which makes no concessions to fruity transatlantic flavour, just a wallop of grizzled UK hops and chiselled sandpaper malt.  It was alright though.  Interestingly enough, having tried all five beers from this newish Derby-based microbrewer, I am now their top rater in the World.  Consider personal trumpet thoroughly parped.

Second was a new beer from Oakham - always a pleasant sight to greet a weatherbeaten beer fan, upon entering a boozer.  This one, entitled 'Preacher' was a suntanned bronze colour, with a luscious aroma of tropical fruit.  Taste was right upfront in the 'delicious mango and passionfruit' department and as balanced as my current account* throughout.  Really good from Oakham.  As always.  Which got me thinking....

How many of the top, top UK breweries' products actually make it to Birmingham on a regular basis?

Oakham - We are lucky to have one of their own pubs serving all their best stuff, plus their beers always make it to the Welly.

Crouch Vale - they pop up in the Welly, fairly frequently.

Moor - Nicholsons carry them, so four chances for their beers to appear in the City centre.

Brewdog - no bar in Birmingham as yet, and their stuff hardly ever pops up on cask, except occasionally in the Bleagle.  Nowhere in Brum serves craft beer on keg, so we are fairly scuppered for Brewdog generally.  Their bottles make it to Stirchley Wines; as do >>>

The Kernel - no pubs in Brum take these bottled masterpieces.  Thankfully Stirchley Wines are doing Birmingham proud.

Magic Rock - to my knowledge, none of their beers have ever appeared in a Birmingham pub, which is nothing short of a scandal, given their reputation as one of the UK's hottest new brewers.  Thankfully Stirchley Wines have just picked up their bottled range (are you noticing pattern here?).

Summer Wine - they very (very) occasionally pop up in the Welly - I've sampled them there twice. 

Thornbridge - pretty good coverage with Post Office Vaults, Wellington and the Nicholsons' pubs taking them.  Unfortunately no one serves their keg efforts, so we have never seen Versa, Italia or Kill Your Darlings, to name but three.

Dark Star - these appear in the Welly with almost acceptable frequency.

Brodies - never glimpsed in Brum.

Redwillow - spotted twice in the Welly by my good self.

Marble - occasional visitors to the Welly, but a full bottled range is at... wait for it.... Asda Stirchley Wines.

Bristol Beer Factory - not spotted in any Brum pubs for a good wee while, luckily someone has some bottles for your delectation. 

Hard Knott - Stirchley only.

Hawkshead - interestingly enough, Wetherspoons are your best bet for these Cumbrian beauties.

Gargoyles - The Anchor is your best bet to try these Devonian treats on cask, which is the same story for...

Steel City - only spotted in the Spanker.

Camden Town - only Nicholsons have sported a beer from this lot so far, but then again, they are primarily keg only.

Buxton - yawn, I'm boring myself now ... these are spotted very occasionally in the Welly, but Stirchley take their bottled range.    

As a City, the end of term report reads "Must do better".  Beer fans like you and me must request these brewers' products and our band of dedicated landlords must seek them out. 



*perhaps more so actually.